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My new normal April 22 2015 3 Comments

This morning I woke to a kick in the head by someone's stumpy leg. That foot then entwined itself right inside my pony tail. Too tired to even roll over or detangle it from my mane, I simply lay still trying to get back to sleep. As I lay there I smirked to myself that this was my "new normal".

Back in life BC (before children) if I'd been woken at 5-something to a kick in the head, I'd have talked about it for days. Now it's not even that wierd. It's my new normal. 

Other parents understand how it is to share your bed with several small children and how with parenthood you somehow gain superhuman strength. Particularly impressive is your ability to balance on the very side of your body only millimetres from the edge of the bed. If only I could hold those positions in my pilates class. 

Somehow my life has evolved to include bazaar daily rituals that may include (but is not limited to) drinking cold coffee (not the glamorous iced coffee kind), serving one child’s pre-loved food to another and wearing clothes that really should have been washed a few days ago. 

Who does that? 

Parents do. Parents do that stuff without even flinching. Gross. 

Somehow while waking at 5.59am is still not ok, waking at 6.01am is now considered acceptable. I used to only grace the 6am floorboards if I was just arriving home or if I was rushing to the airport to depart to an exotic location. Now an interrupted coffee is about as exotic as it gets. And yes 8am is a sleep-in. 

It is very normal to not only study poo closely but also to be able to describe a myriad of different types. This topic can now be happily discussed with complete strangers. We even encourage clapping and admiration of poops at certain stages. The whole family crowds into the bathroom to have a look. 

I have slept in a child’s wet bed. Comfortably. I have cuddled a child whilst vomit was running down my back. Several times unfortunately. Not to mention catching vomit in my scooped hands and carrying it to the toilet….actually GLAD that I caught it. Catching regurgitated food in your hands is relatively clean compared to that. 

Most parents have done most of these things that BC, we thought would only happen occasionally. We have happily picked someone else’s nose and cleaned their ear wax with great satisfaction. We have used our own spit to clean our child’s face and put our hands down the toilet to rescue something “important”. We have chewed our babies fingernails off and smelt their little bums. Don’t even get me started on snot. 

Please share with me....what is your new normal?

 


Eyes in the back of my head February 28 2015 4 Comments

There are times, many times when I am home alone with all four children and I don’t know what each individual is up to. I have a pretty good idea, but as all Mums of toddlers know, silence is not golden

  

Over the year that the twins were two, we had two gorgeous Au Pair's help our family. A lot of the time, their sole purpose was to follow the twins around making sure they weren't up to too much mischief. Bless their German hearts, they adored the boys and helped them thrive. 

The older two can be like a couple of ducks gliding along a lake.......don't be fooled by their calm, graceful looks. Recently I was reminded that there is a lot happening beneath the surface when I found this on my computer

We were lucky to have moved into our current house when we already had two little boys. Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine what would happen next to our family, but nonetheless we renovated our home and garden with the forethought to make it as childproof as possible. And when I say child proof, I mean boy proof. Climbing, eating, sneaky, cheeky boy proof. Thank goodness. 

Today I was cleaning the kitchen after a particularly slow and messy Saturday morning and thinking these exact thoughts. I could see one, hear another and I knew the eldest was on the iPad. The fourth and final was nowhere to be seen or heard. After a quick lap of the house, I found him in the garden putting a pair of roller skates on. Having not yet mastered that skill, I think I caught him in the nick of time. 

That’s pretty much what my life is at the moment when all of the boys are home with me. Pre-empting disasters and having eyes in the back of my head. Constantly averting them of danger and trying to teach as we go. I want them to be brave, to trust themselves and to remember their childhood as carefree and fun. But I do not want to have to jog my memory of that first aid course or test my calm in a crisis. No thank you.

I'd love to know some tips from other Flat Out Mums on how you keep your eyes in the back of your head?