The grass is greener where you water it June 09 2015 9 Comments
Looking back on the first few years of raising twins, I have learnt a lot. Many things I have already written about in my blog, but one of the lessons that has made me the most content is that
THE WORLD CAN WAIT.
Having a young baby requires a huge adjustment to your daily routine and your psyche. From my experience, this is amplified with your first baby, as well as with twins.
But, the outside world just keeps on spinning no matter what's happening within your home. No matter what's happening inside your head. No matter what's happening in your baby’s little universe.
On those days that you can step out of your parallel universe into your "old life", you do appreciate the little things so much more.
You discover just how many topics you can cover in a quick kid free catch up with a friend. How refreshing it is to laugh over an in joke. How satisfying it is to vent to an old confidant about your particular issue of the week.
As you slip back into the loveliness of your home, you do treasure your little glimpses back out to the big wide world, but you do slowly realise that the world can wait.
The parties, the me time, the solitary exercise, the career, the pampering, the sleep in’s, the spontaneity...it can all wait.
Just ask anyone with older kids, especially much older kids. They will always tell you "these are the best days of your life" and
"it goes by so fast" etc etc, we hear it all the time, like a broken record.
It’s like that famous Oscar Wilde quote “youth is wasted on the young”. We rarely appreciate it while we are there.
So this post is for those Mums in the trenches with little babies right now. Babies that don’t sleep, babies with health issues, babies teething, babies that just like to scream 24/7. Babies that decide to have the longest sleep EVER, the day you need to leave the house on time.
I think that if Mums tell the 100% honest truth, most babies are challenging. Yes of course we all know that small percentage of babies that seem to be perfect day and night. Well, their time will come. Maybe perfect babies = horrible teenagers, who knows?
For all of those Mums currently thinking that the grass is greener somewhere else, or who are counting the days/months until the next milestone,
I stretch out my virtual arms to hug you.
Each day that you conquer and each night that you endure, is an achievement. It can be really tough. Physically, mentally and emotionally. The big trifecta. I say, milk it for all you can. The grass is greener where you water it.
Now that I have the house completely to myself a few days each week, I am aware of the silence. I do love it and it’s allowing me to pursue more of my own interests, but I am also sadly aware that now I can’t turn back time. Those days when I had young babies at home 24/7 is over. Those days when it was not only acceptable, but encouraged, to sleep when they sleep, will never return.
Those days when you can crazy dance to High-5 all day and relish in embarrassing baby talk. The times when new, clean pyjama’s with matching slippers is considered an outfit. Slip a bra underneath and you’re ready to greet guests.
I can no longer eat a Tim Tam for breakfast and blame a sleepless night. Nor an entire packet and blame breast feeding. I can no longer decline a boring social invitation in favour of an early night. I can no longer justify making 48 muffins to pass the time while the babies are sleeping. Nor can I ask a friend to bring their own milk with them for a cup of tea.
If you can, embrace these things. Watch crappy reality TV. At 3am if you have to. Talk to that grandma admiring your baby at the supermarket for a touch longer than you think you have time for. Take photo’s. Take so many photo’s that other people get annoyed. Breathe in your beautiful baby and just live in the moment.
I felt very peaceful when I finally gave in to this notion. I say to new mums, especially to Mums of multiples, just give in to it. Stop looking over the fence and succumb to the beautiful world of raising little babies. Yes sometimes it sucks and if you could, you’d kick that fence over with the gusto of an angry bull, but just give in. Listen to the grannies and learn. The world can wait.